“Women are like cell phones.
They like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button, and you’ll be disconnected.”
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out.
A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.'”
“It’s no longer a question of staying healthy.
It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.”
“Do not try to solve all life’s problems at once,
learn to dread each day as it comes.”
“The only function of economic forecasting
is to make astrology look respectable.”
-John Kenneth Galbraith